Therapy for Anxiety & Perfectionism in Hickory, NC & Online Across North Carolina
You know how to get things done. You just don’t know how to stop carrying it all.
Your calendar is full, but your tank is empty.
You’re used to being “on”—the responsible one, the one who gets it done, the one people know they can count on. And because your drive and high standards have been rewarded for years, slowing down can feel almost wrong. You reach the bar, move it again, and somehow still end the day feeling behind.
You're starting to realize this may be more than anxiety—it may be what's often called high-functioning anxiety. It’s the exhausting cycle of trying to earn the moment when you can finally rest, relax, or feel like you’ve done enough. But even when you stop, your mind doesn’t. It’s still planning, replaying, and running through what’s left undone.
You know living this way isn’t sustainable. The harder question is: if you’re not the one holding it all together, who are you?
You probably…
Feel safest when you’re being useful, productive, or needed—because somewhere along the way, doing became tied to being enough.
Hold yourself (and sometimes others) to impossibly high standards with little room for mistakes or “good enough.”
Put things off when you can’t figure out the “right” way to begin—then wonder why something so important is so hard to start.
Rely on routines, planning, or predictability to stay grounded—and feel thrown when plans suddenly change.
Replay conversations, decisions, or mistakes long after everyone else has moved on.
Stay several steps ahead—anticipating what needs to happen next so you’re rarely caught off guard.
Get short with the people you love when you’re overloaded or overstimulated—then feel terrible about it afterward.
Have a hard time letting something go until it feels resolved—even when your brain and body are begging for a break.
For some women, ADHD or AuDHD can turn the volume up on these patterns—especially perfectionism, task initiation, overstimulation, difficulty shifting gears, and the pressure to compensate for things that seem easier for everyone else.
Let’s figure out why the tools you’ve been given aren’t working optimally.
You may have read the books, learned the coping skills, practiced the breathing exercises, and gained plenty of insight—yet still find yourself caught in the same cycle. Sometimes the problem isn't that you aren't trying hard enough. The tools simply weren't built with your brain in mind.
I've built my practice around the needs of neurodivergent women: understanding your patterns before trying to change them, working with your nervous system instead of against it, and making room for sensory and capacity needs. Hormones, health, sleep, and the way your brain is wired can all turn the volume up. We'll still ask why this pattern is here and what is driving it. Our work is experiential, not just talk.
Our work rests on three connected anchors:
Your mind. We look at the rules that say you must get it right, seem capable, and never fail, and at the loops that keep replaying what's left undone.
Your body. We pay attention to what overload feels like: the clenched jaw, the knot in your stomach, the short fuse. We work with your nervous system and what your body may still carry, so you can come out of the freeze.
Your relationships. We look at how always being "on" shapes the way you show up with the people you love, and practice being off.
The approaches I most often tailor to you are Internal Family Systems (IFS), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Brainspotting, Neural Desensitization and Integration Training (NDIT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills, polyvagal-informed work, and Relational Life Therapy (RLT).
My passion is helping women who’ve been stuck in the pursuit of perfection finally enjoy the life the’ve built.
how i can help
TOGETHER WE’LL WORK ON
Learning to notice what would normally bait you into an anxiety spiral—without letting it hook you.
You’ll start noticing the moment your brain grabs onto something and won’t let go—the unanswered email, awkward conversation, mistake you might have made, or decision you’re afraid of getting wrong. Instead of automatically following it into hours of replaying, researching, rehearsing, or worst-case planning, we’ll practice creating enough space for you to choose what happens next.
Anxiety may still show up. The goal isn’t to never feel it—it’s to stop letting it run the whole show.
Responding from your values instead of your anxiety.
You may know exactly how you want to respond, yet anxiety, guilt, or fear of getting it wrong takes over when the moment comes. Together, we’ll help you slow down enough to notice what matters to you and make choices from that place—even when your brain is offering a hundred reasons not to.
The goal isn’t perfect confidence. It’s learning to trust yourself enough to move forward without needing certainty first.
Perfectionism rarely starts with simply wanting to do a good job. Somewhere along the way, getting it right may have become tied to feeling safe, accepted, or enough. We’ll get curious about where those patterns came from, the parts of you still working hard to protect you from getting it wrong, and what they need now.
Instead of fighting yourself into change, we’ll help those old patterns soften so you’re no longer relying on willpower to do things differently.
Healing what’s underneath the anxiety and perfectionism so change can actually stick.
Living in a way that lets you be present with the people you love.
You’re physically there, but part of your brain is still at work—replaying the conversation, thinking about what you forgot, or running through tomorrow’s list. Together, we’ll help you practice actually being off so you can enjoy dinner, watch the ball game, take the vacation, or sit on the couch with someone you love without your mind constantly pulling you somewhere else.
The goal isn’t to care less. It’s to have more of you available for the life you’re working so hard to build.
WHAT IF YOU WERE ALREADY ENOUGH?
You don’t have to earn your place in your own life.
faqs
Common questions about therapy for anxiety & perfectionism in Hickory North Carolina
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Many of my clients come in with strong awareness and a long list of tools. Instead of adding more, we slow down and get a clear picture of what’s driving the cycle in the first place. When we address the drivers, the tools you already know how to use start working more effectively.
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That’s important information, and I have a lot of experience (including personally) working with these factors. We take into account sleep, hormones, chronic illness, nutrition, and how your brain works as part of the full picture of your life. Anxiety rarely exists in isolation, and I don’t treat it that way.
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When I talk about perfectionism, I’m not just referring to having high standards. I’m talking about the internal pressure that says your worth, safety, or belonging depends on getting things “right.” It often shows up as all-or-nothing thinking, procrastination fueled by fear of not doing something perfectly, difficulty delegating, and feeling a rush of shame when you fall short of your own expectations.
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Knowing what to do and being able to do it are not always the same thing. Many people already understand their patterns intellectually, yet still find themselves stuck in them. Therapy helps us understand the emotional, relational, and nervous system factors that make change feel difficult so you can move beyond insight into lasting change.
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I specialize in a neuro-somatic and relational approach that addresses anxiety where it lives—in your body and nervous system. Rather than just offering standard CBT worksheets or conversational venting, I draw from a deeply integrated toolkit. This includes Internal Family Systems (IFS) for parts work, Brainspotting and NDIT for somatic trauma processing, and ACT and Relational Life Therapy (RLT) for active, real-world boundary and communication strategies. This combination allows us to safely calm your nervous system's threat detector so your logical mind can take the lead again.
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Through parts work, we’ll get curious about the part of you that sets the bar impossibly high and the part that shuts down when it feels overwhelmed. Instead of trying to silence them, we’ll work to understand what they’re protecting. This understanding allows the part to feel heard and puts you back in the driver’s seat of the decision-making process.
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You might start to notice anxious thoughts without getting completely absorbed by them. You may feel less pressure around making the “right” decisions, feel like you can rest without having to “earn” it first, and begin responding intentionally in alignment with your values. We’ll celebrate every micro-win together along the way, so you can notice your progress in real time.
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As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, I have extensive training in trauma-informed therapies, Internal Family Systems (also known as IFS or “parts work”), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Brainspotting, and integrative mental health. My approach is biopsychosocial, which means I consider not just your thoughts and behaviors, but also your nervous system, hormones, sleep, chronic health concerns, and the developmental experiences that shaped your blueprint for coping.
I’ve also pursued additional training in women’s mental health, functional nutrition for mental health, polyvagal theory, and complex trauma—because anxiety and perfectionism rarely exist in isolation. And personally, I know what it’s like to wrestle with over-functioning and pushing through. I bring both professional expertise and lived understanding to our work, so we can move beyond surface-level symptom management and create real, lasting change.
Ready to get started?